I’ve been thinking about becoming a movie star, figuring, how hard could it be?Not a young, good-looking movie star, obviously. But look at the career that, say, Karl Malden had. And nobody is confusing Morgan Freeman with Denzel Washington, but they both seem to do all right.
As for training, I had a part as a lord in my third-grade play, complete with red satin knee breeches and tailcoat, in which I demonstrated a marked ability to skip around a Maypole - forward and backward, mind you. (Hey, Ken Hase couldn’t do it, and had to play a frog.) I appeared in my junior play as well, and, as I recall, was able to deliver my lines and move about the stage without tripping over anything.
Clearly, I would come to stardom having paid my dues.
And so the other day, when my friend the comedian/actor Mack Dryden offered me a role in a coming small-scale video production of his, I leapt at the chance. Such is the stuff success stories can be made of.
My role, shot on location around Rockefeller Center, might be billed in the credits as New Yorker With Attitude. That, and Guy Who Held the Camera While Mack Did the Funny Stuff.
I will not, as a result of the second role, actually appear on screen. But I did have lines, extemporized by Mack, that any critic would be sure to describe as “crucial to the plot development.”
Alas, any critic would most likely go on to describe them as “the worst imitation of a New York accent ever attempted.”
O.K. So accents, other than the one I come by naturally, are not my thing. Perhaps a better entry role might be Middle-Aged Guy With Ability to Look Very Stern, and I could work my way up from there.
Meanwhile, I’m not putting all my show business eggs in one basket. I’ve also been thinking about writing some hit country songs. I used to live in Nashville, and from what I could see, there’s good money in it.
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