My alma mater concluded a few years back, not unreasonably, that a Civil War icon was not the most progressive image to present on the sidelines of a 21st-century athletic contest.So, since 2003, Colonel Rebel has been absent from the playing fields of Ole Miss.
A campaign is now under way to replace him, and more than 1,000 people weighed in with suggestions. The original list was winnowed to 11 by the Mascot Selection Committee and that number reduced to five finalists by a vote of students, faculty, alumni association members and, apparently, a large contingent of 3-year-olds. The finalists are:
Horse
Land Shark
Hotty and Toddy
Lion
Bear
To which I say, pardon my abbreviated French, WTF?
Each finalist is accompanied on the committee’s Web site by a claim of its worthiness (“Nothing portrays this sense of Rebel freedom, strength and confidence like a charging stallion,” goes the argument for Horse). And each is clearly ridiculous.
With the possible exception, I grant you, of Hotty and Toddy, the homage to our signature cheer. But the information so far (“The pair may be animals or original ‘muppet-like’ characters”) is too sketchy to build an allegiance on. Painful images of the Phillies Phanatic, as seen above, present themselves.
I am not, mind you, one of those diehard Colonel Rebel fans. As a matter of principle I refuse to wear any Ole Miss gear with its depiction. Besides, as my buddy Rick Cleveland of The Clarion-Ledger helpfully points out, Colonel Rebel as a sideline presence is not exactly steeped in history.
And I take the Selection Committee at its word that, fears of the Sons of Confederate Veterans aside, there are no plans to drop “Rebels” - a nickname that I am, oddly enough, attached to.
But we can do better than this load of dreck. We need a mascot that represents dignity, not to mention one that can be defended without dissolving into helpless laughter. A mascot instantly recognizable, universally esteemed, quintessentially Mississippi. A mascot we can be proud of.
To wit, the Catfish.
Now, that’s Ole Miss, by damn. And tasty, too.
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