The Test and the Brightest

My job used to afford lots of empty time in the post-midnight hours that required filling, and one early morning my mind found itself attracted to one of those online IQ tests that seem to be everywhere.

So I took it.

And thought, when I looked at the result, I’m smarter than that.

I don’t claim to be an Einstein. I started running into people smarter than I am quite early in life, and the trend has not abated. But still, to have ranked in the IQ vicinity of one of our less-celebrated presidents (according to information thoughtfully provided by the test makers) rankled me. So I looked for a different test, and took it, too.

And scored exactly the same.

Which led to my finding another test, and taking it.

And scoring about 20 points lower.

All right. That last one I attributed to mental fatigue. Testing experts probably would not recommend back-to-back-to-back efforts when your mind has already been taxed by a full day of work and the midnight drowsies and such. Furthermore, I thought, who’s to say that these pop-psychology quizzes of the type that show up online have any real validity, preying as they do on the bored and vain. So I decided to put the test to the test, so to speak.

A few days later, I persuaded my wife to take the first one that I’d taken.

I will not reveal the results. But a word of advice to any fellow husband who might ever be tempted to match brainpower with his wife:

It’s not a smart idea.