Quickies

Texas has the best-looking state flag. Ohio has the worst.

Paul McCartney’s Christmas song seems to be getting much more play than John Lennon’s. Pity.

Someone has posted fliers in my neighborhood offering a $500 reward for their missing 18-year-old cat, a situation I find almost unthinkably sad. My cat Cato, who is in my lap at this moment, is 19.

Salma Hayak may be the most attractive woman in the world who is not my wife. If not her, it’s Halle Berry.

My food tastes are not refined enough for me to be a critic. They are basically binary: yes-no.

Geico’s ads are creative, but its insurance costs more than mine.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is not nearly exclusive enough.

Oldies stations should identify the artist and year for every song they play.

My musical tastes expand as I age - but they expand backward, not forward.

Ole men + Earrings = Bad.

Neil Young’s singing hurts my ears.

Tuna salad without boiled eggs is not tuna salad.

I would like my life to slow down to the pace felt by an 8-year-old in the weeks before Christmas.